JavaScripts, Java, plugins and other kewl (sic) stuff (*disclaimer)
Javascripts, Java, and plugins are all such cool ways to impress everyone with your leading-edge web site. I have an example page with a few of the many ever-so-awesome scripts you can get free on the web.
You can also download free stuff for Flash, Shockwave, ActiveX, VRML and other leading edge web tools. If you use these, make sure to also put up scripts telling your visitors where to download them, and that your site is so high-tech that they won't be able to view it properly unless they do so. These warning scripts will not be seen by those who are with-it enough to be already running these plugins.
Javascript can be used for many things. There are scripts that change background color at random so you can keep visitors awake. Some scripts, as mentioned in lesson 1, can pop-up a window for you. These scripts can be very useful, especially when you have banner ads. You want people to click on the banner and make you money, but some of the banner ads take your visitors out of your site and out of your frame. That's a real no-no. People should never be allowed to leave your site once they've found it. This is when when you can use an 'open new window on exit' script. It will pop up a new page from your site the minute someone tries to leave. Your visitors will really love this one! They'll send you lots of email telling you exactly how much they appreciate it.
There are also javascript counters to tell your visitors how many people have visited your site. Start the count at 10,000 or so to impress people. With javascript and DHTML, you can do fancy effects on your pages that will make your page unviewable to those who aren't worthy. There are a lot of very useful javascripts on the web too, but ignore those, they don't make your page look kewl.
If you can't find a good small graphic you can use for an imagemap, you can use a javascript pull-down menu. They are very nice, and have the advantage of preventing anyone who has javascript turned off, or who has an old browser, from navigating your site. Never use a CGI script that anyone can click on. If they can't see your innovative and artistic use of javascripts, you don't want them anyway, right?
Lesson 1: The basics for an award? winning site...
Lesson 2: Impressive Entry Pages
Lesson 3:Cutting edge and kewl (sic): javascripts, Java, plugins, and other stuff
Lesson 4: Graphics, animations, and sounds (Coming Soon)
Lesson 5: Ways to avoid putting any actual content on your site. (Coming soon)
*Disclaimer: This advice is not meant to be taken seriously.