Thailand: Land of the Free (column)

I'll make a confession. In general, I hate to travel. I've got a phobia about airplanes, and am not excessively fond of buses or cars. I do; however, love to get there. I'm even happier if I can stay awhile!

I'm not much of a tourist, I would much rather sit in some tiny restaurant or pub and chat with the locals than be dragged around visiting the local tourist sites. I lived 30 minutes outside of NY city for 11 years and never went to the Statue of Liberty, or to the Empire State Building.

I'm not going to give you the typical tourist view of the two years I spent living and working on Phuket Island, in Thailand. I won't tell you to go visit Wat Chalong if you go there, though you should. I won't tell you which tour to take, or which diving company has the best rates. You men most certainly won't get a guided tour to the bar girls, though I may remark on what they have to say when your backs are turned!

What I will tell you is what it is like to live in a culture very different from one's own. Some of it the Thai culture, and some of it the expatriate culture in Phuket (I was fascinated by both).

I'll tell you about etiquette - Thai style. You will hear the story of the elephant in the bar and the woman with five husbands. You will hear about the food markets, from the point of view of a shopper. You will hear Thai folk tales and beliefs. I'll tell you stories of culture shock and culture clash. You will hear all of these from the point of view of a happily bemused female xenophile.

Tales of Thailand (chronological tales)

1. What am I doing here?
   Cities always look lovely from the air at night; Bangkok is no exception. I peered through the window of the plane at the misty fairyland of lights, wondering just why I was doing this....
2. Uh-oh. Now what should I do?
   I trudged down the aisle and into the airport, trying to project all the confidence I didn't feel. It was after midnight...
3. One Morning in Bangkok
   It wouldn't be the last time that I was bewildered by Thai thinking. I soon discovered that they often find us just as mystifying.
4. Losing myself in Bangkok
   I... eventually end up back where I started. It's just that I rarely am sure exactly where I was between times.
5. Phuket: I finally made it!
   The airport in Phuket is small for an international airport, but very pleasant. It reminded me of my hometown airport.
6. Meet your what?
   "Kathy", he said, "I'd like you to meet my wife."

Digressions from the timeline:

• How I became a Web Mistress
  Once upon a time I was a webmaster...
• A Food Lover's Paradise
  Thailand and the countries around it have some of the best food in the world. If you like to eat, and enjoy trying different things, you'll love SE Asia.
• Words to live by
  A few Thai word that could make us a lot happier.